New Year's Eve Battle for Viewers

Two men enter. One man leaves with Dick Clark's crown on his carefully coiffed head. It's Seacrest vs. Daly in a New Year's Eve showdown for viewers because, yes, it turns out that 27 million of us are too pathetic to be anywhere but on our couches watching television when the clock strikes midnight.

Seacrest has the obvious advantage - being grandfathered into the annual countdown tradition by Clark himself - with ABC's Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve 2007. Daly has the scrappier of the two operations at NBC - New Year's Eve with Carson Daly presented by Chevrolet. The two hosts are engaged in a rumored tiff over who will reign supreme once Clark has bowed out for good. Both are on record denying the rivalry with Daly's producers pointing out that Carson is, like, way hipper because he has OK Go on his show and not lame-i-licious Fergie - "I mean, how many times have I heard Fergie sing 'Superlicious' or whatever she sings?"

Both men are in for a big surprise when the numbers come in. PBS is poised to take the night in a major upset. When this battle goes down in the history books, Garrison Keillor is coming out on top.